Understanding Emotional Abuse and Coercive Control
Does being around your partner, another family member, or a person in your workplace make you doubt yourself or do you feel confused, frightened, intimidated, inadequate, or otherwise unlike “yourself”?
Could you be experiencing emotional abuse?
KEY POINTS
Emotional abuse is a form of family and domestic violence. It is characterised by repetitive behaviours designed to instil fear and gain control over another person.
Coercive control is a core feature of emotional abuse, often involving manipulation and intimidation to undermine a person’s independence and self-worth.
This form of abuse can occur in intimate partnerships, families, and workplaces.
Many individuals experiencing emotional abuse blame themselves, which can delay help-seeking and recovery.
What is Emotional Abuse?
Emotional abuse (also known as psychological abuse) is a pattern of behaviour that causes emotional pain, fear, or distress. It can be subtle or overt and often includes attempts to control, isolate, or demean another person.
Emotional abuse can take several forms:
Gaslighting – A form of psychological manipulation where someone causes you to question your memory, perception, or sanity, often to gain control and undermine your confidence.
Silent treatment – Withholding communication to exert power or punish.
Verbal insults – Name-calling, criticism, or yelling intended to belittle or intimidate.
Social or financial control – Limiting access to friends, family, money, or work.
Emotional neglect or withdrawal – Consistently ignoring emotional needs or affection.
What Is Coercive Control?
Coercive control is at the heart of emotional abuse and is a pattern of threats, humiliation, and intimidation used to punish, scare, or otherwise psychologically harm the victim. It is designed to isolate the victim from other support systems, deprive them of independence and regulate their behaviour on a day-to-day basis. The victim becomes akin to a psychological “hostage” of the perpetrator.
Common Features of Coercive Control
Monitoring activities or communication
Restricting social or financial independence
Undermining self-confidence
Isolating from support systems
Recognising the Impact
The psychological toll of emotional abuse can include low self-worth, chronic anxiety, depression, post-traumatic symptoms, difficulty trusting others, and physical health consequences linked to ongoing stress.
Getting Help and Moving Forward
Understanding that emotional abuse is real and serious is the first step toward reclaiming personal agency. Support from a qualified psychologist, especially one trained in trauma-informed care, can be transformative.
Reach Out to Our Relationship Problems Psychologist For Help
At Reach Psychology, our relationship problems psychologist provides a safe, compassionate space to explore experiences of emotional abuse and coercive control. We offer evidence-based therapies tailored to each person’s unique needs.
Located in Melbourne’s Bayside region (Hampton/Brighton) and via Telehealth, we’re here to help you understand, recover, and take back control of your life. You don’t have to navigate this alone.